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Most beginners to Wicca and other pagan religions are keen to know how to find their goddess (or god). So what’s the general process we use to find our goddess?
To find your goddess, start with introspection. Look at your heritage, interests, passions, and favorite colors. Find a deity which embodies these traits, and invite them into your life. Wait patiently for a response which can come in many forms– a dream, a new friend, or even a gift.
Hint: After you’ve read through this complete guide on how to find your goddess, try our Wiccan deities quiz!
Role of Gods and Goddesses in Wicca
You might be wondering, what’s the big deal about deities?
Gods and Goddesses are instrumental in every aspect of Wicca. They help us love nature. They assist us in prayer and meditation. The gods and goddesses give us purpose in rituals. And they direct us in all forms of magickal work.
Deities provide ways for us to learn, grow, and change. Your relationship with a deity is strengthened by deepening your connection with them. This can be done by carrying out rituals to them, and by living your life in their spirit and energy.
You may have heard about the two main deities in Wicca. They are often called the Lord and the Lady. They are also called the Horned God and the Triple Goddess.
Contrary to popular belief though, there are many other deities! Wiccan followers draw from gods and goddesses in a variety of other pagan traditions, both ancient and modern: The religions of ancient Egypt, Scandinavia, the British Isles, and even the modern Hindu religion today!
Choosing deities to worship is deeply personal and marks a great milestone in your Wiccan practice. Let’s continue on with learning how to find your goddess.
In pagan traditions and mythologies, each society has its own set of polytheistic deities. In Wicca, we can draw on a variety of rich traditions like ancient Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, and Sumerians. We can call out to the Germanic, Norse, and Celtic deities.
Let’s get som basic familiarity with the different pantheons. Here are some example gods and goddesses from each one:
Hathor, Isis, Hekat, Nekhbet, Merit
Aten, Anubis, Osiris, Ra, Horus
Hera, Aphrodite, Athena, Hecate, Hestia, Gaia, Persephone
Zeus, Apollo, Aries, Eros, Poseidon
Juno, Ceres, Diana, Flora, Minerva, Venus, Vesta
Jupiter, Mars, Neptune
Freyja, Frigg, Gefion, Hel
Loki, Odin, Thor, Tyr
Brigid, Cerridwen, the Morrigan
Bran, Lugh, Lir
Durga, Kali, Lakshmi, Radha, Saraswati, Sita
Brama, Ganesha, Hanuman, Krishna, Shiva, Vishnu
Erzulie, Maman Brigitte, Oshun
Baron Samedi, Bondye, Damballah, Papa Legba, Ogun
Can I Mix Pantheons?
It’s perfectly ok to draw on or mix deities from different pantheons as long as you revere them. You may want to separate them out of respect though– keep their rituals, altars, and offerings separate and unique to each deity.
A patron deity is a specific deity who you choose to work with in a dedicated way. They are your mentor, your go-to, your link to the divine, your teacher, your source of spiritual development. You will follow along the path they guide you to. They will shape your spiritual life.
You will take on their unique energy, learn their ways and skills intimately, and become the person who they want you to be. You honor and work with your patron on a daily basis to fully develop your relationship with them.
Male vs Female Deities
This is a personal choice and entirely up to you. You may connect to masculine or feminine energy, or both. It’s ok to connect to a God for one area, and a Goddess for another. It’s ok to worship only female deities, or only male deities. The choice is yours!
How To Find Your Goddess
And now, the crux of of the matter.
Find Inspiration From Your Past
Look at your heritage and ancestry. Find out where your ancestors are from then start researching deities from that region. If your ancestors are Norwegian, investigate Norse gods. If you’re Italian, look into Roman gods. Dive straight into your ancestors’ beliefs.
Find Inspiration From Your Heart
Make a list of some of your interests. What’s your favorite color? What natural bodies and processes do you like (sun, moon, rain, snow, season, etc)? Which animals do you like?
Also look back to your past. What were some treasured personal items? What subjects did you like to study in school? What were your favorite games as a kid?
Anything and anyone you are interested is fair game. Whatever you feel drawn to will help lead you to your patron god or goddess.
Research Pantheons and Deities
While searching your heart and interests, do research. Read up on mythologies, look at ancient art depicting the deities, buy a book to dive deeper. Keep doing this until something catches your attention.
Invite the Deity Into Your Life
Once you find a deity you’re drawn to, invite them into your life. Try meditating on them or praying to them. Ask them to enter your heart. Ask for specific signs. Pray for answers. Do a ritual with them. Give an offering. Talk to them. Then wait to see if you feel a response. Oftentimes, you do not choose the god, but the god chooses you.
Listen for a Response
You will discover their signals to you. The signals can be literally anything– you need to know your deity well to know when you are being signaled.
Here are some examples:
A dream in which they appear. A stranger who has physical characteristics of them. An animal to represent them. A gift containing one of their symbols. A feather or flower on the ground. Or maybe a commercial with an image that represents them.
Keep in mind that the signals may be subtle, and they often occur in a series. Look for patterns and pay attention to symbolism. Don’t necessarily expect a ray of light to point you in the right direction. Trust your gut and use your intuition. Look for connection and resonance.
Oftentimes deities signal to us in subtle ways. If you are not looking for signs, you may miss them entirely. Don’t necessarily expect vivid visions to appear, hearing voices, instructional dreams, or birds magically landing on your shoulder.
It may be something as simple as feeling drawn to a book. Noticing a beautiful flower. Meditating on the deity and feeling a pull. Feeling a sixth sense about which action to take. Researching as much as possible about the deity you are trying to commune with helps. It will give you a good base of knowledge about them so you know when they are calling out to you spiritually.
Be patient and wait for the deity to appear in due time. It takes time to develop your senses and intuition. It takes practice to slow down and notice magickal coincidences. This is all especially true if you are new on your journey with Wicca. Don’t feel discouraged– it will come when you are ready!
Be Open to Other Deities
Don’t necessarily expect that the deity you’re most drawn to is the one who will contact you. Be open to all possibilities and don’t make any assumptions.
Listen to what the world is telling you– don’t just see what you want to see. You may be getting (and ignoring) signals from a deity who you aren’t expecting!
There Are No Mistakes
Do not worry about choosing the wrong deity. As long as your heart is open and your intentions are right, you are making the right choice.
Just like a human relationship, you should spend time with your deity because you genuinely enjoy spending time with them, not because of what they can do for you.
Although all deities will be open to working with you, if you are reaching out to a deity which may not be the best fit, you will likely feel it. You may also feel a stronger pull from a different deity.
Just trust your intuition and good things will follow!
Do I have to have a patron?
You don’t have to have a patron deity. A patron is a deity that appeals to you and serves you personally. Find a patron if you enjoy interacting with Gods or Goddesses on a regular and personal basis.
If you aren’t able to find a patron deity, or you don’t want to work with just one deity, then it’s possible to work with multiple deities which is described in further detail below.
What to Do With Your Deity
So, you’ve found your patron deity. What do you do with them?
So many things! Anything which deepens your passion and devotion for them, and strengthens your reverence is great.
A easy place to start is to set up a shrine or altar for them. Place something to represent the god or goddess like a figurine or a piece of nature. Also place a small bowl for offerings.
Worship at the shrine daily, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Light a candle or incense at the shrine. Spend some time praying, meditating, or keeping silence. Give a small offering such as milk, a flower, or a bit of food from your meal.
You can also dedicate an activity for them. Anything which connects with their energy. You could go for a walk in nature, prepare a special meal, or donate to a charity in their name. You can also do special activities on a sabbat in their name.
Also in general keep them in your thoughts. Talk and pray to them. Meditate about them. Journal, write, sketch, or draw with their inspiration. Invite them to your spellwork and rituals. Deepen your knowledge on them by reading more books. Call on them for wisdom and guidance.
If you’ve found the right patron, it will be an honor and a blessing to connect with them. You will want to do it more and more. Be consistent in your practice and build your relationship over time.
Worshiping Multiple Deities
Of course! You can have multiple patron deities, or one patron and a number of other deities who you call on that aren’t your patrons. Worshipping one God doesn’t require excluding other Gods or a monogamous relationship with that God for the rest of your life.
Your patron deity is a special relationship. The relationship can last throughout your life, or perhaps just for a couple of years. It is like a home base, a point of reference, where you can always return and where you will be pushed to better yourself.
As you travel on your magickal journey, you’ll get to know a deity deeply, only to find that you’ve learned all you can from them. You’ll know when it’s time to move on to new deities with new lessons to teach you.
You should ask your current deity first for permission, but in general Gods and Goddesses are not jealous beings. Your love and worship of one deity does not usually diminish that for another.
You can worship any and all deities as you see fit. You can go to rituals for any deity you wish. Your patron deity will have a set of lessons to teach you based on their energy. You may find a calling to other deities’ energies, anywhere you feel there is an important truth to learn.
Deities will pass in and out of each moment of your life and teach you things that you need to know at that point. Each deity has a working relationship with you.
The only thing to keep in mind is to remember any rivalries or feuds two deities have between themselves. For example, if one deity destroyed the other, or they represent opposing forces, it is wise to not worship them at the same time. Work with each God separately, keep separate altars, and give separate offerings.
Hopefully this guide has taught you a strategy on how to find your goddess or god. If you’d like a quick starting point, or just want an initial idea of a deity to try, give our Wiccan deities quiz a try!
The Wiccan goddess is also called the Triple Goddess. She is a goddess with three forms or archetypes– the maiden, the mother, and the crone. Each of these forms represents the reproductive life cycle and fertility of a woman– before, during, and after childbearing years. They also represent the moon’s cycle from waxing to waning.
A patron god is a specific deity who you choose to work with in a dedicated way. They are a source of spiritual development and a mentor, go-to. Followers believe the deity guides them on a path to improve their spiritual life.
In Wicca, the moon goddess with three forms is called the Triple Goddess. She contains three archetypes that represent a woman’s life cycle– before, during, and after the reproductive years.
Wiccans believe that they must be receptive to signals a goddess sends when calling out to them. Anything from symbolic dreams to visions to more subtle things like unusual gifts or new sights and sounds. The receiver looks to their intuition to see the connection and trusts their gut feelings.